About Being Uninspired...

I feel uninspired. Yes, my mother just passed and probably my uninspiredness has something to do with that but mostly its about me. I've felt uninspired for months now...maybe even years. I've felt a lack of creativity and desire. I feel like I've been waiting. For what? Beats the heck out of me. I've been waiting for the kids to be old enough to take care of themselves enough so I can 'do for me'...they're old enough now but now I'm even less willing to 'do for me' because I'm afraid to leave them alone since they're able to make decisions for themselves. That's they're fault though since their decisions are usually stupid. Then I was waiting for my mom to die. Now I'm waiting for my husbands business to get moving.

Pretty soon it'll be me that's dead and then then it will be too late to do anything.

What exactly am I REALLY waiting for?

My very wonderful friend Genevieve (AKA, WT but that's another post)suggested I read "Julie & Julia." I had planned to prior to seeing the movie and just picked up the book today. I haven't even started it but it got me thinking that whole "If she can, I can" thing. If she can cook a recipe a day, then why can't I? Well, probably because I have no desire to cook for starters. Secondly, I suck at cooking. but maybe, just maybe there's something else I can do. Something that will force me to get out of whatever slump I feel trapped in and allow me to gain some inspiration. I think the book/movie is based on a year and while I can respect her motivation and drive, a year in the life of Carolyn is a LONG FREAKING TIME and I'm not sure I can commit to that type of inspiration just yet. It's baby steps people, baby steps.

So here's my deal. I've decided that I'm going to try that whole, 100 things in 100 days. Of course it will probably take me a year to think of 100 things to do but it's a start, right? :)

Seriously, my thought is that I'll document 100 things, create a start and end date and just do them. Each time I do one, I'll post my thoughts, comments, frustrations, etc. on my blog and then some famous book publisher will read them, contract me to write a bestseller and then sell the movie rights and I'll be rich. Okay, maybe that last part is just a pipe dream but at least I'm working towards a goal, right?

Tonight I'm going to think up my 100 things. Some will be easy. Some will be challenging. Some will be nostalgic. Some new, some silly, some stupid. Some scary, some a royal pain in the ass. But I will do them and I'm hopeful there will be something I can find from them that will inspire, motivate and help make me feel like me again.

If you have any thoughts, comments or suggestions as to WHAT I can put on the list, please let me know. For now I must search the Internet and find things to do.

Take care of you and as my friend Katrina says, be particular.