I'd like to take credit for that saying but I'm entirely too honest and would feel bad if I got busted, so credit is given where credit is due. Thanks Mr. Sandburg. It's a fitting quote for me today.
I am taking life too seriously lately. So yeah, my mother is dying of cancer and I'm taking care of her. My father is struggling with some issues and my poor (step) mom has to take care of him. My husband was recently laid off and is starting a business in this economy and today he drove away from the gas pump with the hose still attached to the car. Did he bother to take pictures of it in the event the owner chooses to try and scam us? No. He is great but not always the brightest bulb on the tree.
The point of all of this is that, yes, while I have reason to take life seriously because stuff happens, I'm over it. I'm over being cranky and frustrated and stressed and anxious and an insomniac. I know I have a CHOICE in how I feel and I'm intent on making that choice for myself.
Or at least I hope.
The problem is, people are just pissing me off. They breathe and that's annoying. They speak to me and it bugs me. They walk in a room and I want to shoot them. (with an air soft gun because being in prison would really make me cranky) I've got to figure out a way to deal with that.
Sadly, I am feeling trapped. Since my mom lives with me and can no longer be left alone, I have to be here most of the time. Occasionally my husband can be here and while he's wonderful, he gets distracted or works on the deck on in his office in the basement and doesn't HEAR her when she needs him. Yes, we have a bell but if he's involved in something, he's so incredibly focused on it he hears nothing else. We considered a baby monitor but she has a TV on 24/7 and that's just more noise to deal with. So I try not to leave the house much and I can be here to help her in the bathroom or whatever. I'm a bit bitter about it because...well, because I just am. I don't like feeling trapped.
Another issue is the fact that I have things I should/want to do at the house but I can't really focus on them. Once I try, she needs me and I either can't get it done or she gets upset because she refuses to use the bell and tries to call to me and I can't hear her. She doesn't need to be upset but really, use the freaking bell mom! Stop being so stubborn.
I have barely worked out. I want to but I'm so tired most of the time from doing nothing and not sleeping well that working out just doesn't seem attainable. I know I will feel better if I do so I've decided that Monday I'm going to start going again daily and do it whether I want to or not. Think Nike.
It's pissing me off to feel so stressed knowing it's adding fat to my body...something I generally fear.
I tried yoga to relax and didn't like it. Maybe I should try it a few more times but really, I just didn't like it.
My goal for the next few hours is to figure out a way to stop feeling crappy and cranky and deal with the facts as they are and start taking care of myself instead of feeling the need to crawl in a hole and ignore life itself.
Typically I try to be funny when I write but I'm not feeling all that funny right now and faking it just isn't going to cut it.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Parenting has Become a Joke.
Today I read a syndicated column in the AJC. I don't typically read the AJC however it was on the table at Starbucks and I thought I'd pass the time while enjoying the extra whipped cream on my mocha. Yum, I get a craving just mentioning the words. Oh, sorry. Back on track.
The column is a parenting column written by some psychologist or something or other named Rosemond. I went to his website (www.rosemond.com) because I felt a pressing need to respond to his column. I couldn't. What a bummer. Instead, I'll respond here.
This weeks column was about dinner. The concept of dinner is that the parent makes a meal for all family members to eat and all family members eat it. He goes on to say that many people feed their children different things for one reason or another. One woman apparently feeds her kid hot dogs or something because the meal she makes everyone else gives him reflux. Rosemond's response was to feed the kid what everyone else gets and put a basket next to him. When he's done throwing up, make him start eating the regular meal again.
I almost peed on myself when I read this.
I guess I'm old school. Maybe it's my type A personality. I'm not sure which but I do not believe that kids should be given everything and catered to. We eat what I make and if you don't like it, fine but don't expect anything else. There are a few things that I do that my kids, especially my teenagers, think make me a terribly cruel parent. I'm hopeful someday they'll see it differently.
Here's the terrible things I do to my children:
1. I make them do chores every day. They clean the kitchen up in the morning and evening. They also feed the animals. On the weekends they have a few other chores like dusting, cleaning their bathroom, emptying cat liter, etc. And the hook, I DO NOT GIVE THEM AN ALLOWANCE. Each member of this family is responsible for maintaining the integrity and cleanliness of this home. Everyone must do their part to contribute. I don't get an allowance for cleaning and frankly, why should they? They can receive an allowance for chores over and above their regular ones but often do not want to do that. They expect to be paid because they're friends receive money for doing nothing. I've suggested if they want things that way to sit down with those parents and see if they can adopt them.
2. I make my daughters (my son is only 10, he will start at 13) do their own laundry - once a week. How dare me.
3. I make my daughters pay for their cell phones. My 15 year old hasn't had the money (she doesn't babysit but that's an entirely different blog post for a later date)so instead of paying with cash, she pays with extra chores. She had the phone, free of charge for over 3 years and is paying for that. Right now she has the phone only when she leaves the house and she hates it. Our 17 year old has full access to her phone now - we used to take it away at night but since she's got a 3.8 GPA we decided she can have it all night but if her grades drop, it's ours after 10 PM. She has paid $22 a month for that phone since she got it in 7Th grade. Our son has a phone he does not pay for. He doesn't use it to call his friends. He doesn't text. He takes it with him when he's in the neighborhood so he has it to call me and tell me when he's going to someone else's house. He does it. I can call him on it and he answers. I'm not looking forward to the day that stops. Of course both girls feel this is unfair because they didn't have a phone at 10 and I continue to tell them they rarely left the house thus not requiring the need. My son walks in the door from school or wakes up in the summer and is usually gone until 6 PM. That phone is for MY personal comfort, not his.
3. I have a annual budget for clothing. Each kid gets a specific amount in the fall and spring. They can pick their own clothes but I don't go over that amount. One year for school my oldest spent $500 on one shirt, 2 pairs of jeans and two pairs of shoes. After she started working, she stopped buying such expensive clothes and realized the value of designer isn't all it's cracked up to be.
4. My children are required to put HALF of any money they get into savings FOR COLLEGE, not for ANYTHING else. My oldest works and each paycheck gets split in half. Oh, by the way, her cell phone bill and the car insurance she pays come out of her half as does the gas for the car she drives.
5. There are no TV's in our kids rooms.
6. "Because I said so" is a perfectly good explanation in my house and if they don't like it, that's just too bad.
7. We have a car that my daughter drives (mostly because she works until 11:30 at night and I don't want to pick her up) but she pays her gas. She also doesn't get up and leave when she wants and first must ask to use the car. She hates it but such is life. It's not a BMW. It's not a Volvo. It's a 2002 Mazda Tribute. She told me any car we got her "had to have a CD player because she needs one" and I must admit, I looked hard to find a car without one just because I thought that was pathetic. Sadly, they rarely make them without them anymore. She thinks it's wrong that she has to pay for her insurance coverage too.
8. We actually DO read our kids emails and text messages. We have a computer for our oldest and we just took off the parental controls so she could get a Facebook page. The other two use my computer when they need to and are not allowed to do so without my permission...it's password protected. My 15 year old wants a myspace and a Facebook page but has neither.
9. Our kids are actually paying for their college...we will pay part of it.
This is just some of the things that we do. I'm told by my kids how cruel we are and how no one else has any rules and while that may be true for some, I think it might be a slight exaggeration.
People believe they should be friends with their kids. It's not my job to be my child's friend. My job is to raise them in a healthy and secure manner, allowing them the opportunity to succeed in their lives and get the heck out of my house. I am required to keep them as safe as possible and make decisions for them they may not be able to make for themselves. I am not required to do whatever they want because they think I should nor am I required to keep up with the Joneses.
I truly believe that parents who overindulge their kids are doing a disservice to their children and in the long run, it will come back to bite them in the butt.
This is of course, just my opinion. I welcome yours.
The column is a parenting column written by some psychologist or something or other named Rosemond. I went to his website (www.rosemond.com) because I felt a pressing need to respond to his column. I couldn't. What a bummer. Instead, I'll respond here.
This weeks column was about dinner. The concept of dinner is that the parent makes a meal for all family members to eat and all family members eat it. He goes on to say that many people feed their children different things for one reason or another. One woman apparently feeds her kid hot dogs or something because the meal she makes everyone else gives him reflux. Rosemond's response was to feed the kid what everyone else gets and put a basket next to him. When he's done throwing up, make him start eating the regular meal again.
I almost peed on myself when I read this.
I guess I'm old school. Maybe it's my type A personality. I'm not sure which but I do not believe that kids should be given everything and catered to. We eat what I make and if you don't like it, fine but don't expect anything else. There are a few things that I do that my kids, especially my teenagers, think make me a terribly cruel parent. I'm hopeful someday they'll see it differently.
Here's the terrible things I do to my children:
1. I make them do chores every day. They clean the kitchen up in the morning and evening. They also feed the animals. On the weekends they have a few other chores like dusting, cleaning their bathroom, emptying cat liter, etc. And the hook, I DO NOT GIVE THEM AN ALLOWANCE. Each member of this family is responsible for maintaining the integrity and cleanliness of this home. Everyone must do their part to contribute. I don't get an allowance for cleaning and frankly, why should they? They can receive an allowance for chores over and above their regular ones but often do not want to do that. They expect to be paid because they're friends receive money for doing nothing. I've suggested if they want things that way to sit down with those parents and see if they can adopt them.
2. I make my daughters (my son is only 10, he will start at 13) do their own laundry - once a week. How dare me.
3. I make my daughters pay for their cell phones. My 15 year old hasn't had the money (she doesn't babysit but that's an entirely different blog post for a later date)so instead of paying with cash, she pays with extra chores. She had the phone, free of charge for over 3 years and is paying for that. Right now she has the phone only when she leaves the house and she hates it. Our 17 year old has full access to her phone now - we used to take it away at night but since she's got a 3.8 GPA we decided she can have it all night but if her grades drop, it's ours after 10 PM. She has paid $22 a month for that phone since she got it in 7Th grade. Our son has a phone he does not pay for. He doesn't use it to call his friends. He doesn't text. He takes it with him when he's in the neighborhood so he has it to call me and tell me when he's going to someone else's house. He does it. I can call him on it and he answers. I'm not looking forward to the day that stops. Of course both girls feel this is unfair because they didn't have a phone at 10 and I continue to tell them they rarely left the house thus not requiring the need. My son walks in the door from school or wakes up in the summer and is usually gone until 6 PM. That phone is for MY personal comfort, not his.
3. I have a annual budget for clothing. Each kid gets a specific amount in the fall and spring. They can pick their own clothes but I don't go over that amount. One year for school my oldest spent $500 on one shirt, 2 pairs of jeans and two pairs of shoes. After she started working, she stopped buying such expensive clothes and realized the value of designer isn't all it's cracked up to be.
4. My children are required to put HALF of any money they get into savings FOR COLLEGE, not for ANYTHING else. My oldest works and each paycheck gets split in half. Oh, by the way, her cell phone bill and the car insurance she pays come out of her half as does the gas for the car she drives.
5. There are no TV's in our kids rooms.
6. "Because I said so" is a perfectly good explanation in my house and if they don't like it, that's just too bad.
7. We have a car that my daughter drives (mostly because she works until 11:30 at night and I don't want to pick her up) but she pays her gas. She also doesn't get up and leave when she wants and first must ask to use the car. She hates it but such is life. It's not a BMW. It's not a Volvo. It's a 2002 Mazda Tribute. She told me any car we got her "had to have a CD player because she needs one" and I must admit, I looked hard to find a car without one just because I thought that was pathetic. Sadly, they rarely make them without them anymore. She thinks it's wrong that she has to pay for her insurance coverage too.
8. We actually DO read our kids emails and text messages. We have a computer for our oldest and we just took off the parental controls so she could get a Facebook page. The other two use my computer when they need to and are not allowed to do so without my permission...it's password protected. My 15 year old wants a myspace and a Facebook page but has neither.
9. Our kids are actually paying for their college...we will pay part of it.
This is just some of the things that we do. I'm told by my kids how cruel we are and how no one else has any rules and while that may be true for some, I think it might be a slight exaggeration.
People believe they should be friends with their kids. It's not my job to be my child's friend. My job is to raise them in a healthy and secure manner, allowing them the opportunity to succeed in their lives and get the heck out of my house. I am required to keep them as safe as possible and make decisions for them they may not be able to make for themselves. I am not required to do whatever they want because they think I should nor am I required to keep up with the Joneses.
I truly believe that parents who overindulge their kids are doing a disservice to their children and in the long run, it will come back to bite them in the butt.
This is of course, just my opinion. I welcome yours.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Summer Uses for Duct Tape When You Have Annoying Teens
I love duct tape. I saw a commercial recently where a man tries to duct tape his abs. My thought? Not a bad idea actually. It's less expensive than Spanx though probably harder to remove. My rolls of duct tape stored in their secret hiding place need not worry, I have big plans for them. Big plans.
School's been out for three weeks. Three long, agonizing weeks. Three long weeks of "I want", "You have to", "Why can't I", "That's not fair", "But everyone else gets to" and the infamous, "I promise I'll do my chores when I get back." Toss in a few thousand whines, demands, additional complaints of unfairness, several million eye rolls and twice as many tears and you've stepped into the Aspenson family home.
Shoot me now. Please. I will love you for it.
I've suggested to our county the concept of the 12 month school year but for now, it's a no go. Instead, I've had to think of creative ways to make it through this long, hot summer. This is where the duct tape comes in.
Now maybe you think I'm cruel. If you do, you probably have young kids who are still cute and fun to be around or you're a grandparent who has somehow forgotten that raising teenagers is like being pecked to death by a hen or maybe you just don't have any kids. If your the last, don't worry, your time will come. Hopefully.
Here's what I've come up with so far to make my life easier and fullfill the dream of my duct tape having an exciting life rather than spend eternity stuffed in a secret hiding place.
1. Duct tape them to the couch, keep the TV on Public Television or a religious station and put the remotes on the other side of the room.
2. Duct tape their eyes open and promise that if they try to remove it, their lids will come off (they're still naive enough to think it might actually happen).
3. Wake them up at 3 AM, duct tape them to the wall and sing Christmas carols to them all day long.
4. Duct tape their game controllers with rolls and rolls of tape and watch them cry because it's taking so long to remove and they want to play video games NOW!
5. Duct tape their nose to their sweaty socks they continually leave all over my family room. Then tape their hands so they can't remove it.
6. Remove all noise creators from their room and duct tape a continual recording of their whining to the outside of their bedroom door, change the handle to lock on the outside and keep it locked for the afternoon.
7. Duct tape them to something, anything, at their grandparents house and force them to listen to stories about "When I was your age" from their grandparents.
8. If you have a boy teenager, duct tape their pants at their waist, where they belong.
9. If you have a girl, duct tape the visible parts of her butt cheeks and upper thighs so the rest of the world can live in peace.
10. Duct tape a backpack full of 100 pounds of rocks onto their back and force them to walk around with it all day while you explain that this is what it feels like to care for a teenager.
11. Duct tape them to the wall next to the cat liter box just because you can.
I'm sure I've got more ideas but for now, I think these are winners! If you have any suggestions, please let me know.
School's been out for three weeks. Three long, agonizing weeks. Three long weeks of "I want", "You have to", "Why can't I", "That's not fair", "But everyone else gets to" and the infamous, "I promise I'll do my chores when I get back." Toss in a few thousand whines, demands, additional complaints of unfairness, several million eye rolls and twice as many tears and you've stepped into the Aspenson family home.
Shoot me now. Please. I will love you for it.
I've suggested to our county the concept of the 12 month school year but for now, it's a no go. Instead, I've had to think of creative ways to make it through this long, hot summer. This is where the duct tape comes in.
Now maybe you think I'm cruel. If you do, you probably have young kids who are still cute and fun to be around or you're a grandparent who has somehow forgotten that raising teenagers is like being pecked to death by a hen or maybe you just don't have any kids. If your the last, don't worry, your time will come. Hopefully.
Here's what I've come up with so far to make my life easier and fullfill the dream of my duct tape having an exciting life rather than spend eternity stuffed in a secret hiding place.
1. Duct tape them to the couch, keep the TV on Public Television or a religious station and put the remotes on the other side of the room.
2. Duct tape their eyes open and promise that if they try to remove it, their lids will come off (they're still naive enough to think it might actually happen).
3. Wake them up at 3 AM, duct tape them to the wall and sing Christmas carols to them all day long.
4. Duct tape their game controllers with rolls and rolls of tape and watch them cry because it's taking so long to remove and they want to play video games NOW!
5. Duct tape their nose to their sweaty socks they continually leave all over my family room. Then tape their hands so they can't remove it.
6. Remove all noise creators from their room and duct tape a continual recording of their whining to the outside of their bedroom door, change the handle to lock on the outside and keep it locked for the afternoon.
7. Duct tape them to something, anything, at their grandparents house and force them to listen to stories about "When I was your age" from their grandparents.
8. If you have a boy teenager, duct tape their pants at their waist, where they belong.
9. If you have a girl, duct tape the visible parts of her butt cheeks and upper thighs so the rest of the world can live in peace.
10. Duct tape a backpack full of 100 pounds of rocks onto their back and force them to walk around with it all day while you explain that this is what it feels like to care for a teenager.
11. Duct tape them to the wall next to the cat liter box just because you can.
I'm sure I've got more ideas but for now, I think these are winners! If you have any suggestions, please let me know.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Last Night I Had the Strangest Dream...
I sailed away to China. In a little row boat to find ya but you said you had to get your laundry clean.
Okay, if you are a child of the 80's you'll likely recognize that. If not then google it and you'll know.
My husband rarely remembers his dreams. I remember every detail of mine. Good, bad, scary, funny, all of them. I'm not a heavy sleeper and while I never have been, once I acquired a family, I found I sleep even lighter. It's the mommy ear syndrome. Most women have it and practically all men don't.
I wake up after each of my dreams. I either have to pee or I'm checking to make sure my teeth are still in my mouth. I hate that dream. It's a recurring one but only the theme is the same. The actual situation or story of the dream is different. Apparently my subconscious likes variety when expressing its fears.
The teeth falling out dream is supposed to be related to a feeling of a loss of control. Um, duh. A control freak by genetics, I probably have this dream every time I feel my control spiraling downward, which is about every 15 minutes or so daily.
I don't lose my teeth in the dream. They all just seem to fall out and I spend the entire three seconds (that seems like hours) of the dream carrying them around (sometimes in a cooler, sometimes in my hand) asking people to help me. No one ever does. There's never any closure to the dream. I never have them put back in and no one ever helps me. I just wake up, run my tongue over my much appreciated horse teeth and breathe a sigh of relief. Then I pee.
Last night I dreamed that I was at the home of a person who's husband just passed. In real life, someone did just pass but I don't know the family. They've been on my mind and in some twisted way, my psyche is trying to sort through it. I knew her in the dream. I told her I'd help her and would bring her any kind of food if she needed it. She told me she didn't because someone had just given her a new set of stainless steel appliances for her kitchen. She showed me them and I can still see how they sparkled. What I wouldn't give for stainless steel appliances! I think that dream was telling me to rush to Lowe's and get new appliances. Probably my husband would like to be a part in that decision and since he wasn't in the dream, I think I'm screwed. No new appliances for me yet.
The dream shifted then. I was in some unknown park with my son and another clearly unimportant person because he was unidentifiable. I was wearing a total bar-whore outfit... f*** me boots, black lace tights, a mini-skirt and some crop top that showed off my great abs (hey, it's a dream. I can at least have great abs in a dream, right?) You do know that everyone goes to the park dressed in their best bar-whore clothes, right?
While walking through the park, I cut my leg on a bush. The bleeding was fast and furious and I begged Mr. Unknown to call 911. He did. He told them I said I was dying and had my 10 year old son confirm it. He did. I didn't say I was dying and made sure to yell that in the background while I tried to cover my bleeding leg with my hands. Mr. Unknown gave me the phone and the 911 operator (a male, go figure) told me that I'd called 911 from that park too many times before and I'd just have to drive myself to the hospital because they didn't believe me. And then he hung up. He hung up. Dream Carolyn was not happy.
I turned with incredible anger,to Mr. Unknown and said, "If I die, it's your fault!" and then I turned to my son and said, "And yours too!" As I walked away, my son looked upset. I felt terrible. I asked him what was wrong. He showed me his pen (when did he get a pen in this dream?) and said, "I lost my pen cap. Can I go back and find it?"
Here I am, gushing quarts of blood by the second, trying to walk to my car to drive myself to the hospital and my son wants to go back and find his pen cap. I was thinking he was upset that I might die but no, he was upset because he lost his pen cap.
I woke up with some serious leg pain after that dream. I have some residual pain from nerve damage from my back surgery and I'm sure I was unconsciously feeling it, thus dreaming about my leg. But where did the pen cap come from?
My son's 10. What's important to him is not always on target with my list of priorities so my guess is I'm trying to explain that to myself and find a way to handle it better (perhaps blaming him for my death is not a good option). Who knows. After I made sure my leg wasn't bleeding. I got up and peed.
Okay, if you are a child of the 80's you'll likely recognize that. If not then google it and you'll know.
My husband rarely remembers his dreams. I remember every detail of mine. Good, bad, scary, funny, all of them. I'm not a heavy sleeper and while I never have been, once I acquired a family, I found I sleep even lighter. It's the mommy ear syndrome. Most women have it and practically all men don't.
I wake up after each of my dreams. I either have to pee or I'm checking to make sure my teeth are still in my mouth. I hate that dream. It's a recurring one but only the theme is the same. The actual situation or story of the dream is different. Apparently my subconscious likes variety when expressing its fears.
The teeth falling out dream is supposed to be related to a feeling of a loss of control. Um, duh. A control freak by genetics, I probably have this dream every time I feel my control spiraling downward, which is about every 15 minutes or so daily.
I don't lose my teeth in the dream. They all just seem to fall out and I spend the entire three seconds (that seems like hours) of the dream carrying them around (sometimes in a cooler, sometimes in my hand) asking people to help me. No one ever does. There's never any closure to the dream. I never have them put back in and no one ever helps me. I just wake up, run my tongue over my much appreciated horse teeth and breathe a sigh of relief. Then I pee.
Last night I dreamed that I was at the home of a person who's husband just passed. In real life, someone did just pass but I don't know the family. They've been on my mind and in some twisted way, my psyche is trying to sort through it. I knew her in the dream. I told her I'd help her and would bring her any kind of food if she needed it. She told me she didn't because someone had just given her a new set of stainless steel appliances for her kitchen. She showed me them and I can still see how they sparkled. What I wouldn't give for stainless steel appliances! I think that dream was telling me to rush to Lowe's and get new appliances. Probably my husband would like to be a part in that decision and since he wasn't in the dream, I think I'm screwed. No new appliances for me yet.
The dream shifted then. I was in some unknown park with my son and another clearly unimportant person because he was unidentifiable. I was wearing a total bar-whore outfit... f*** me boots, black lace tights, a mini-skirt and some crop top that showed off my great abs (hey, it's a dream. I can at least have great abs in a dream, right?) You do know that everyone goes to the park dressed in their best bar-whore clothes, right?
While walking through the park, I cut my leg on a bush. The bleeding was fast and furious and I begged Mr. Unknown to call 911. He did. He told them I said I was dying and had my 10 year old son confirm it. He did. I didn't say I was dying and made sure to yell that in the background while I tried to cover my bleeding leg with my hands. Mr. Unknown gave me the phone and the 911 operator (a male, go figure) told me that I'd called 911 from that park too many times before and I'd just have to drive myself to the hospital because they didn't believe me. And then he hung up. He hung up. Dream Carolyn was not happy.
I turned with incredible anger,to Mr. Unknown and said, "If I die, it's your fault!" and then I turned to my son and said, "And yours too!" As I walked away, my son looked upset. I felt terrible. I asked him what was wrong. He showed me his pen (when did he get a pen in this dream?) and said, "I lost my pen cap. Can I go back and find it?"
Here I am, gushing quarts of blood by the second, trying to walk to my car to drive myself to the hospital and my son wants to go back and find his pen cap. I was thinking he was upset that I might die but no, he was upset because he lost his pen cap.
I woke up with some serious leg pain after that dream. I have some residual pain from nerve damage from my back surgery and I'm sure I was unconsciously feeling it, thus dreaming about my leg. But where did the pen cap come from?
My son's 10. What's important to him is not always on target with my list of priorities so my guess is I'm trying to explain that to myself and find a way to handle it better (perhaps blaming him for my death is not a good option). Who knows. After I made sure my leg wasn't bleeding. I got up and peed.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Who Knew?
It's 9:15 PM on Tuesday night. I decided to start a blog. Why did I think I could simply create a name and then type away? Ha. It certainly doesn't work that way! Instead I've been adding trying to think of things about me worthy of reading. It's 9:15 PM on Tuesday night. Usually I'm reading now, not writing. My creative muse is already upstairs in bed, waiting for me to open the latest Lisa Gardner novel and start reading.
I think I'll start my first 'real' post tomorrow. Wish me luck!
I think I'll start my first 'real' post tomorrow. Wish me luck!
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