My Tarot Reading for 2010

I have a friend that is a professional Tarot reading. Not one of those 'for entertainment purposes only' kinds but a true honest to goodness Tarot reader. She's read my cards many times and sadly, none of them mention me getting the hot bod I've always wanted but that's okay. Probably the cards are old; you know, from a time when hot bods looked different than they do today.

She read my cards for this coming year. I found it to be interesting. I know there is some 'give' to the deciphering of the meaning surrounding what each card means but I believe she has a good handle on where they take her and it's not primarily left to her imagination.

Here's her reading: (as she said, generalized for 2010)...

First card down is the Emperor, which means a tremendous expression of will power and control.
I like this card. This card tells me I have will power and control. That makes me happy considering I've felt a total lack of both in the past year.

Crossing that is The Tower, which means the will power and control will constantly be challenged and broken down.
This card I don't like as much. I don't mind the will power and control being challenged but I could go without the whole "broken down" part of it.

The foundation is the 5 of swords, which means trying to "clean up after a battle" and get things back in place. I believe this is the restructuring of your life and yourself after processing the grief from your mother's death.
This card holds very important words for me. Restructuring of my life and myself is something I've been 'planning' to do. I say planning because I'm still trying to figure out how to get to that point. I'm working through my grief and starting to work towards wanting things again instead of simply going through the motions of life but it's a process and it takes time. Knowing that the goal is in sight is helpful.

Passing away and out of focus is the 2 of wands, which is a strong partnership. I think this might be the attachment you have to your mother's physical presence rather than her spiritual one.

When I first read this, I felt frustrated. As a matter of fact, I'm still frustrated by it. Of course I have an attachment to my mothers physical presence. I'd like to have an attachment to her spiritual one but for me, it's lost. Perhaps I will find it this coming year. Perhaps she is here with me and I'm still too far in my grief to feel her yet but the fact is, I don't. I'm hoping what my friend did not write is that this year I feel begin to feel that attachment to her physical presence become less important and that I will find her spiritual one but I'm fairly certain she won't make that type of prediction. Knowing how important this is to me, I'm sure she doesn't want to step into that arena just yet.


What is in the works to come into being is the 9 of pentacles, which is a strong, confident woman who is able to take care of herself on many levels.
I have always been a confident woman, strong through many obstacles and issues in my life and while I feel slightly weakened by the loss of my mother, I am confident I will work through this loss and feel the strength I felt before. She will help me wtih that, I'm sure.

What is in the future is the 3 of cups, which means celebration, parties, joyfulness.
I have not been much for social activities or joyfulness and can use some of that right about now so I'm going to work toward this being right!

Over the self is the High Priestess, which is a re-exploration of the spiritual self.
I don't know if there is a spiritual self for me. For years I've felt like there should be more depth, an awakening if you will, for me but I got nothin. I try and try and I end up feeling fairly superficial and boring (for lack of a better term). I am hoping that the benefit from my mother passing is that I will have a stronger relationship with God and whatever that may entail for me. I'm feeling drawn to certain things but nothing concrete enough yet to blog about. Once I figure them out, I will.

Over the environment is the Knight of wands, which is a new energy level change, feeling physically well and vibrant.
I can certainly use that. It's time. Believe me, it's time.

Over the hopes and fears is a long term, secure family.
I take this to mean that my relationship with my husband and my family is solid and for that I am grateful. I'd like to try harder this year to enjoy it more and not take him for granted. As much. :)

Over the outcome is the Star, which is finding your goal and letting it be the power that guides you along your life path.
This is something I've been working through a lot lately. Since I turned 40, actually. What is my purpose? My life goal? My passion? I've decided that my passion doesn't have to be a job, a goal or anything specific but that my passion is simply, me. I need to be passionate about me. About my life. About living my life. Experiencing it and doing what makes me happy and helps me to grow in the ways I want to grow. This is my passion and this is the goal I will continue to strive to achieve. Will it be easy? Probably not but that's okay. Living life to its fullest is never easy but it's worth the effort.

I've printed out this reading and am keeping it in my journal. Yes, I have a journal again. I used to journal, years ago but haven't felt inspired to for a long time. Part of my plan is to start journaling again and to work through my thoughts on paper - maybe I'll sleep better at night.

I'm looking forward to 2010. I have big plans for me. I hope you have big plans for yourself, too. Truth be told, there were a lot of rough times in 2009 but there were a lot of good times too. I choose to look back at the year and see the good things, not the bad. I choose to remember the time I spent with my mom and feel confident that she knew I loved her with all of my heart. I choose to relish the new friends I made and the strength that came back into some of my old friendships, too. I choose to build from those feelings and continue down a path of positivity instead of dwelling on that which I can't control.

Happy New Year.