Things I'm doing:
1. Busting my big, fat, Italian beeeeehind at the gym six days a week.
2. Not eating anything with chocolate, whipped cream, icing or anything sugary and fattening. Damn it.
3. Eating more protein and veggies than any sane person should.
4. Craving 0 fat plain Greek yogurt. With a tad bit of cinnamon.
5. Reading a book every two days (to keep my mind of of eating the stuff mentioned in #2.)
6. Kicking up my cardio an additional 15 minutes to an hour instead of 45 minutes a day.
7. Switching up my weight training from lighter weights and higher reps to heavier weights and lower reps. (which by the way, has made my butt hurt a whole heck of a lot!)
8. Getting up when I get up, heading to Starbucks and then straight to the gym so I don't sit at home and decide not to go.
9. Losing weight but not weighing myself anymore because the scale is an evil alien designed to screw with my head.
So far, so good. Five months until Costa Rica. 20 lbs (I will weigh again, eventually) should be no problem!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
The Long & Winding Road to Better Health
People who know me know I used to work out a lot. One good friend (Tammy, I won't mention your name) calls me the work out queen. She may have been right before but lately, not so much. I used to work out daily with a friend at a gym close to my house. Then my husband moved us to another county and the drive in the metro Atlanta traffic was too much so I stopped going. The club options here were sparse at best and I couldn't find a gym I felt comfortable with. I did end up at a Y, once it finally opened. I started back into a routine but being the stand-offish woman I am, I hadn't really made any friends there and for me, working out is better, easier and more fun with friends. Needless to say, I stopped doing what I enjoyed. Eventually I started up again, sporadically but at least I was doing something. Eventually another gym opened and I started going to it, though I wasn't really making friends. I'm just not good at that, I guess.
Life got in the way and I found other things to do with my time and then the $h!t hit the fan and life through two lousy curve balls and any thought or interest in exercise went out the window.
It's taken me nine months since the last curve ball to get back on track. It's actually funny because after the first curve ball, it took nine months too and then two months and 15 pounds less later, that second curve ball did me in. It's okay though. I've started tackling things from a different perspective and it seems to be working. Sometimes it's all a matter of mind games.
I had made a plan to start exercising prior to the end of 2010. I'm an excellent planner. I can plan anything to a T. My problem isn't the planning. It's the executing. I'm okay at it if there is an immediate gratification but if the result is long term, I tend to lose patience and stop. It's a psychological block I share with many but still it frustrates me that I'm that way.
I didn't actually 'start' the plan (albeit revised tremendously) until March 1st. I'd normally start something on a Monday but instead I decided to start on the first of a month. Change one to my psychological make up. Well, sort of.
Yes, I had a plan. No, it wasn't totally defined anymore but still, I knew I had to do something at some point. That's sort of a plan, right? The actual push that started me was my mirror. You know how people who have lost 100 or more pounds say they had a turning point, an ah-ha moment, an epiphany? I'm not sure but I think I had one (even though I only wanted to lose about 30 lbs but still worthy of an epiphany in my book).
I looked in the mirror one day, my pants fitting tighter than I'd like and a shirt pulled down low to cover my uncomfortableness. I've never been one to show off my figure but hiding it to the degree I felt I was was even pushing it for me. I looked in the mirror and thought, "I don't look that bad." Then I realized that's what people who have lost control of their weight, lost control of their health, must say. "I don't look that bad." And it freaked me out.
Truthfully, no, I don't look that bad. I'm not into the double digits of size. For many, my desire to lose weight is laughable. I get that. It's not about what others see or really, what the scale or number of my size is. It's about how I feel about me. How I feel physically. How I feel emotionally. How my health is. It's about my psychological make up and what I've done to myself, outside circumstances aside, to become what I am today. And really, I finally realized I don't really like what I've become. It's simply not me.
So on March 1st, I quietly started making changes to myself. My first change was to not tell anyone I was making changes. I've found if I speak of my goals, I psych myself out in some way to not follow them and end up looking like the boy who cried wolf, except more womanly. Instead, I kept my mouth shut for a change (which is never easy for an Italian woman, trust me) and did it. I stopped eating sugar and refined carbs. No breads, no pasta, no packaged foods. No fruits. I went with a close version of the South Beach Diet because it's about eating healthy and while I can't have certain things like fruits, I can add them back eventually and be happy. I'm not 'depriving' myself of anything of quality, designed to be good for my body, except the fruit and whole grains. It's temporary.
South Beach is designed to cut the sugar addiction from your body in a two week period. I know me and I know that two weeks wasn't going to be enough. My initial goal was to cut it until April 1st and then start adding fruits and whole grains back in. That is still my plan. I thought it would be hard. I thought I'd miss it. I thought I'd be cranky and bitchy and irritable and mean. I thought I'd cheat. I most always cheat on things like this.
I. Have. Not. Cheated. Once. Not. Once.
I'm on day 24 and I haven't had any cravings for any sugars. I miss bread a little but not enough to make it worth cheating. I'm not sure what I did but I've convinced myself that when I'm ready, I will add the bread back in slowing so this isn't a forever thing and I can do it. It's worked. I don't feel deprived. Yes, every so often I want to go out to eat and I do. I've had fajitas a few times but don't eat the tortillas. I've watched my family eat mountain sized scoops of ice cream and chips with cheese dip and don't break out in a sweat wanting it, nor do I try to sneak any of it. I'm so freaking proud of myself I can't tell you!
It took a few days before anyone noticed. My husband mentioned something when I wasn't eating rice and I told him. He wasn't shocked because I've done this before but I think it surprised him that I didn't tell him. Normally I'd complain or 'jones' for something but generally, I've been okay.
I've had to figure out my triggers during this time. I've noticed that while I do 'want' certain things at certain times, it's a mental craving, not a physical craving. I've not felt a physical need for sugar. Sometimes I get frustrated, bored, lonely, mad, happy, sad, anxious...then I say, "I deserve a bag of M&M's" but I've realized the trick my mind is playing on me and I don't let it take hold. Progress. Figuring out my triggers has helped. I've been able to work through the emotion without the food (though boredom is sometimes a challenge) and have done well to date.
I didn't start exercising when I gave up the sugar and refined carbs. I didn't want to go full force like I always have because it's always created the crash and burn syndrome for me. Instead I waited two weeks and then I started exercising. First just cardio for 30-45 minutes five days a week because frankly, I'm out of shape. I didn't want to start back to spinning and weights daily because I knew I'd either injure myself or exhaust myself enough to quick. I started increasing the cardio to consistently be 45 minutes and then started adding some easy weightlifting back into my program. Today, for example, I didn't do cardio. I should have but I mixed up my leg routine to be higher weights and my legs are exhausted. I knew I'd be tired and I knew my heart rate would be high and I didn't want to push myself too hard. I plan to at least go for a walk later today.
I'm using my Polar heart rate monitor watch and keeping track of my calorie burn. Last week I set a goal to burn 200-400 more calories a day but I didn't reach it. It was a tough goal. I met it one day and didn't feel that normal rush of adrenaline afterward. I just felt tired and took that as a single that maybe it was too much. Instead I'm planning to add a little more calorie burn daily next week.
I also had no intention of weighing myself until April 1st. I hadn't weighed since my dad died last summer and knew I'd piled back on the 15 lbs I'd lost since gaining the weight from my mom's death (and maybe more) and honestly, I was afraid the scale would depress me and then I'd give up. Normally I'd be on the scale daily, freaking out with any slight change.
I know I've lost weight. My clothes fit better and I've reduced my bra size. Thank God. BUT...I had a plan to not weigh until April 1st and I couldn't stick to it. I had to know. Not knowing for sure what I weighed when I started, I went off the weight of my last time and figured I'd lost about 12 lbs in 16 or so days. Excellent. I weighed myself two more times and today the scale was higher and I was pissed. I know there are reasons for this...water retention, muscle, etc. etc. etc., yet it still played with my head and I've decided to stick to my original thoughts. It's not about what the scale says. It's about how I feel and how my clothes fit. Since those two are improving, I've got to not let the scale screw with me. Today, I'm working on that thought process and controlling it.
I don't know how long I'll continue this. I'd like to stick to my new way of eating until certain clothes fit but if I get to a point where I want to start eating the fruits and whole grains badly enough, I may. Everything in moderation. Right? I'm not sure if I can do that so I've really got to work on that process.
I've made a lot of changes in these past 24 days. Some aren't obvious to others but for me, they're changes. Mostly I've changed my way of thinking about things. It's not just the physical and nutritional changes, which, while important, aren't the main focus of my change. It's the psychological changes that are directing my actions. Instead of letting my mind work against me, I'm finding ways to change my way of thinking, change my self talk and the mind games I play against myself. So far, I'm winning that battle and it feels good.
Life got in the way and I found other things to do with my time and then the $h!t hit the fan and life through two lousy curve balls and any thought or interest in exercise went out the window.
It's taken me nine months since the last curve ball to get back on track. It's actually funny because after the first curve ball, it took nine months too and then two months and 15 pounds less later, that second curve ball did me in. It's okay though. I've started tackling things from a different perspective and it seems to be working. Sometimes it's all a matter of mind games.
I had made a plan to start exercising prior to the end of 2010. I'm an excellent planner. I can plan anything to a T. My problem isn't the planning. It's the executing. I'm okay at it if there is an immediate gratification but if the result is long term, I tend to lose patience and stop. It's a psychological block I share with many but still it frustrates me that I'm that way.
I didn't actually 'start' the plan (albeit revised tremendously) until March 1st. I'd normally start something on a Monday but instead I decided to start on the first of a month. Change one to my psychological make up. Well, sort of.
Yes, I had a plan. No, it wasn't totally defined anymore but still, I knew I had to do something at some point. That's sort of a plan, right? The actual push that started me was my mirror. You know how people who have lost 100 or more pounds say they had a turning point, an ah-ha moment, an epiphany? I'm not sure but I think I had one (even though I only wanted to lose about 30 lbs but still worthy of an epiphany in my book).
I looked in the mirror one day, my pants fitting tighter than I'd like and a shirt pulled down low to cover my uncomfortableness. I've never been one to show off my figure but hiding it to the degree I felt I was was even pushing it for me. I looked in the mirror and thought, "I don't look that bad." Then I realized that's what people who have lost control of their weight, lost control of their health, must say. "I don't look that bad." And it freaked me out.
Truthfully, no, I don't look that bad. I'm not into the double digits of size. For many, my desire to lose weight is laughable. I get that. It's not about what others see or really, what the scale or number of my size is. It's about how I feel about me. How I feel physically. How I feel emotionally. How my health is. It's about my psychological make up and what I've done to myself, outside circumstances aside, to become what I am today. And really, I finally realized I don't really like what I've become. It's simply not me.
So on March 1st, I quietly started making changes to myself. My first change was to not tell anyone I was making changes. I've found if I speak of my goals, I psych myself out in some way to not follow them and end up looking like the boy who cried wolf, except more womanly. Instead, I kept my mouth shut for a change (which is never easy for an Italian woman, trust me) and did it. I stopped eating sugar and refined carbs. No breads, no pasta, no packaged foods. No fruits. I went with a close version of the South Beach Diet because it's about eating healthy and while I can't have certain things like fruits, I can add them back eventually and be happy. I'm not 'depriving' myself of anything of quality, designed to be good for my body, except the fruit and whole grains. It's temporary.
South Beach is designed to cut the sugar addiction from your body in a two week period. I know me and I know that two weeks wasn't going to be enough. My initial goal was to cut it until April 1st and then start adding fruits and whole grains back in. That is still my plan. I thought it would be hard. I thought I'd miss it. I thought I'd be cranky and bitchy and irritable and mean. I thought I'd cheat. I most always cheat on things like this.
I. Have. Not. Cheated. Once. Not. Once.
I'm on day 24 and I haven't had any cravings for any sugars. I miss bread a little but not enough to make it worth cheating. I'm not sure what I did but I've convinced myself that when I'm ready, I will add the bread back in slowing so this isn't a forever thing and I can do it. It's worked. I don't feel deprived. Yes, every so often I want to go out to eat and I do. I've had fajitas a few times but don't eat the tortillas. I've watched my family eat mountain sized scoops of ice cream and chips with cheese dip and don't break out in a sweat wanting it, nor do I try to sneak any of it. I'm so freaking proud of myself I can't tell you!
It took a few days before anyone noticed. My husband mentioned something when I wasn't eating rice and I told him. He wasn't shocked because I've done this before but I think it surprised him that I didn't tell him. Normally I'd complain or 'jones' for something but generally, I've been okay.
I've had to figure out my triggers during this time. I've noticed that while I do 'want' certain things at certain times, it's a mental craving, not a physical craving. I've not felt a physical need for sugar. Sometimes I get frustrated, bored, lonely, mad, happy, sad, anxious...then I say, "I deserve a bag of M&M's" but I've realized the trick my mind is playing on me and I don't let it take hold. Progress. Figuring out my triggers has helped. I've been able to work through the emotion without the food (though boredom is sometimes a challenge) and have done well to date.
I didn't start exercising when I gave up the sugar and refined carbs. I didn't want to go full force like I always have because it's always created the crash and burn syndrome for me. Instead I waited two weeks and then I started exercising. First just cardio for 30-45 minutes five days a week because frankly, I'm out of shape. I didn't want to start back to spinning and weights daily because I knew I'd either injure myself or exhaust myself enough to quick. I started increasing the cardio to consistently be 45 minutes and then started adding some easy weightlifting back into my program. Today, for example, I didn't do cardio. I should have but I mixed up my leg routine to be higher weights and my legs are exhausted. I knew I'd be tired and I knew my heart rate would be high and I didn't want to push myself too hard. I plan to at least go for a walk later today.
I'm using my Polar heart rate monitor watch and keeping track of my calorie burn. Last week I set a goal to burn 200-400 more calories a day but I didn't reach it. It was a tough goal. I met it one day and didn't feel that normal rush of adrenaline afterward. I just felt tired and took that as a single that maybe it was too much. Instead I'm planning to add a little more calorie burn daily next week.
I also had no intention of weighing myself until April 1st. I hadn't weighed since my dad died last summer and knew I'd piled back on the 15 lbs I'd lost since gaining the weight from my mom's death (and maybe more) and honestly, I was afraid the scale would depress me and then I'd give up. Normally I'd be on the scale daily, freaking out with any slight change.
I know I've lost weight. My clothes fit better and I've reduced my bra size. Thank God. BUT...I had a plan to not weigh until April 1st and I couldn't stick to it. I had to know. Not knowing for sure what I weighed when I started, I went off the weight of my last time and figured I'd lost about 12 lbs in 16 or so days. Excellent. I weighed myself two more times and today the scale was higher and I was pissed. I know there are reasons for this...water retention, muscle, etc. etc. etc., yet it still played with my head and I've decided to stick to my original thoughts. It's not about what the scale says. It's about how I feel and how my clothes fit. Since those two are improving, I've got to not let the scale screw with me. Today, I'm working on that thought process and controlling it.
I don't know how long I'll continue this. I'd like to stick to my new way of eating until certain clothes fit but if I get to a point where I want to start eating the fruits and whole grains badly enough, I may. Everything in moderation. Right? I'm not sure if I can do that so I've really got to work on that process.
I've made a lot of changes in these past 24 days. Some aren't obvious to others but for me, they're changes. Mostly I've changed my way of thinking about things. It's not just the physical and nutritional changes, which, while important, aren't the main focus of my change. It's the psychological changes that are directing my actions. Instead of letting my mind work against me, I'm finding ways to change my way of thinking, change my self talk and the mind games I play against myself. So far, I'm winning that battle and it feels good.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Various Rantings about the Trivial...
Today is my second day away from Facebook. I decided to leave for Lent. I'm not Catholic but some Christians do practice Lent so I figured, what the heck. Yesterday I bored off my @$$.
I don't spend a lot of time 'on' Facebook but I have it on my phone, my itouch and my computer so it's easily accessible and if I get an email notification, I can quickly check, respond and feel like I've done something. Something useless and unimportant but something, none the less. I didn't realize the 50 or so emails a day from Facebook took up as much time as they did because yesterday I thought I was going to crawl out of my skin from boredom.
Keep in mind I had many things to do. I still need to finish the trim on the cabinets. Repaint the doors throughout the house. Finish painting the closet doors in the guest room. I could clean windows, steam clean my stairs, organize my soon to be sold jewelry supplies. I could do many things but yesterday I decided to watch it pour buckets on the metro Atlanta area out my big picture windows and complain to myself about being bored. Totally. Wasted. Day.
If I have another one of those I'm pretty sure I'm going to lose my mind.
I don't often do sitting still and doing nothing well. Losing both of my parents threw a monstrous kink in that theory for quite some time but my body and my mind have started to get back on track and I can literally feel my need to do something. Anything. I've felt the anxiety stirring in my gut. That feeling of 'if I don't move, I'm going to explode'. Maybe you get that, too? Maybe not. But I do and it's intense at times. Crawling out of my skin and exploding are not feel good things for me.
I did manage to get to the gym yesterday, something I've focused on doing every day this week and am confident will continue. I've missed it. It was me for a long time and then it wasn't and not only does my body show that but my mental state does, too. I've already noticed the difference in my appearance from the gym and the lack of refined carbs and sugars for 10 days so far and it motivates me to keep going. I love that motivation. I've missed it. So while I went to the gym yesterday, nothing else jumped out at me, screaming, "Pick me! Pick me!" and I picked nothing but couch sitting. Yuck. It was not fun.
Today I got up at 6 AM and decided that, since I was up, I'd go ahead and get my morning Starbucks and head to the gym earlier. I'm afraid if I wait, I'll change my mind, which has happened so often in the past. I had planned to do only cardio and thought 45 minutes would be good. Right now I'm mostly doing the elliptical because I'm old and my bursitis acts up when I walk and I'm not quite ready to spin daily again just yet. I hate the elliptical. It's so booorinnng. After 25 minutes I decided I'd hop off at 30 and sit on a bike because I really felt like sitting down. Thirty minutes came and I didn't have as big of an urge to sit so I actually talked myself (easily, too, surprisingly) into another 15 minutes. Fifteen came and went and then I had to make myself get off at an hour.
Who is this person taking over my motivation and can she please stay forever? I'm sort of liking her.
Admittedly, I was shocked that I decided to stay on for an hour. Silly as it sounds, cardio alone is boring as best and I have to work hard to resist the unmotivated Carolyn on my right shoulder whispering in my ear to get off and go eat something yummy. I'd listen to the motivating Carolyn on my other shoulder (maybe) but she's non-existent. I didn't even feel her today. Instead, I felt as if I didn't really want to get off and leave. I didn't really want to get off the elliptical and leave. I'm giggling as I type that because it's so darn funny to me! I guess the point is is that I feel like that's a good thing and tomorrow when I'm cursing that 25 minute mark, I'm going to remember that. Oh, and it doesn't help that there was a great song on my itouch at that time, too.
So today, I feel good.
Not going to do any of the painting and such I listed earlier because I felt so nasty sweaty after my hour of cardio I decided to shower right away and actually applied make up so instead I'm going out. Once I figure out what that means, I'm sure I'll feel busy and not want to crawl out of my skin. Maybe. I do suspect however, next week I'll be a painting crazy woman. Yippee.
(Insert clever change of subject lead in here...because I got nothing!)
Lately I've felt like I've been shut up. Hushed might be a better word, actually. Not that someone in particular is telling me to shut up or stop me from talking, more like what I have to say isn't all that important and I've just stopped, more or less. Some might argue that point, however. It's frustrated me and when I'm frustrated I feel tense and irritable and just no fun to be around. I think part of why I like Facebook is I can spit out a few things and feel like I've had my say in something, regardless of whether anyone cares or not. I don't think it made me feel important but for me, words are valuable and to not feel like I can use them makes me one cranky bitch. I thought about that and this blog and decided it's a good place to 'use my words' and if someone decides to read them, then hey, all the better. We'll see if I can be more consistent with it.
Time to eat. I'm hearing my stomach make sounds and if I don't shut it up with something healthy, I fear the little nasty Carolyn on my shoulder will come out.
Peace.
I don't spend a lot of time 'on' Facebook but I have it on my phone, my itouch and my computer so it's easily accessible and if I get an email notification, I can quickly check, respond and feel like I've done something. Something useless and unimportant but something, none the less. I didn't realize the 50 or so emails a day from Facebook took up as much time as they did because yesterday I thought I was going to crawl out of my skin from boredom.
Keep in mind I had many things to do. I still need to finish the trim on the cabinets. Repaint the doors throughout the house. Finish painting the closet doors in the guest room. I could clean windows, steam clean my stairs, organize my soon to be sold jewelry supplies. I could do many things but yesterday I decided to watch it pour buckets on the metro Atlanta area out my big picture windows and complain to myself about being bored. Totally. Wasted. Day.
If I have another one of those I'm pretty sure I'm going to lose my mind.
I don't often do sitting still and doing nothing well. Losing both of my parents threw a monstrous kink in that theory for quite some time but my body and my mind have started to get back on track and I can literally feel my need to do something. Anything. I've felt the anxiety stirring in my gut. That feeling of 'if I don't move, I'm going to explode'. Maybe you get that, too? Maybe not. But I do and it's intense at times. Crawling out of my skin and exploding are not feel good things for me.
I did manage to get to the gym yesterday, something I've focused on doing every day this week and am confident will continue. I've missed it. It was me for a long time and then it wasn't and not only does my body show that but my mental state does, too. I've already noticed the difference in my appearance from the gym and the lack of refined carbs and sugars for 10 days so far and it motivates me to keep going. I love that motivation. I've missed it. So while I went to the gym yesterday, nothing else jumped out at me, screaming, "Pick me! Pick me!" and I picked nothing but couch sitting. Yuck. It was not fun.
Today I got up at 6 AM and decided that, since I was up, I'd go ahead and get my morning Starbucks and head to the gym earlier. I'm afraid if I wait, I'll change my mind, which has happened so often in the past. I had planned to do only cardio and thought 45 minutes would be good. Right now I'm mostly doing the elliptical because I'm old and my bursitis acts up when I walk and I'm not quite ready to spin daily again just yet. I hate the elliptical. It's so booorinnng. After 25 minutes I decided I'd hop off at 30 and sit on a bike because I really felt like sitting down. Thirty minutes came and I didn't have as big of an urge to sit so I actually talked myself (easily, too, surprisingly) into another 15 minutes. Fifteen came and went and then I had to make myself get off at an hour.
Who is this person taking over my motivation and can she please stay forever? I'm sort of liking her.
Admittedly, I was shocked that I decided to stay on for an hour. Silly as it sounds, cardio alone is boring as best and I have to work hard to resist the unmotivated Carolyn on my right shoulder whispering in my ear to get off and go eat something yummy. I'd listen to the motivating Carolyn on my other shoulder (maybe) but she's non-existent. I didn't even feel her today. Instead, I felt as if I didn't really want to get off and leave. I didn't really want to get off the elliptical and leave. I'm giggling as I type that because it's so darn funny to me! I guess the point is is that I feel like that's a good thing and tomorrow when I'm cursing that 25 minute mark, I'm going to remember that. Oh, and it doesn't help that there was a great song on my itouch at that time, too.
So today, I feel good.
Not going to do any of the painting and such I listed earlier because I felt so nasty sweaty after my hour of cardio I decided to shower right away and actually applied make up so instead I'm going out. Once I figure out what that means, I'm sure I'll feel busy and not want to crawl out of my skin. Maybe. I do suspect however, next week I'll be a painting crazy woman. Yippee.
(Insert clever change of subject lead in here...because I got nothing!)
Lately I've felt like I've been shut up. Hushed might be a better word, actually. Not that someone in particular is telling me to shut up or stop me from talking, more like what I have to say isn't all that important and I've just stopped, more or less. Some might argue that point, however. It's frustrated me and when I'm frustrated I feel tense and irritable and just no fun to be around. I think part of why I like Facebook is I can spit out a few things and feel like I've had my say in something, regardless of whether anyone cares or not. I don't think it made me feel important but for me, words are valuable and to not feel like I can use them makes me one cranky bitch. I thought about that and this blog and decided it's a good place to 'use my words' and if someone decides to read them, then hey, all the better. We'll see if I can be more consistent with it.
Time to eat. I'm hearing my stomach make sounds and if I don't shut it up with something healthy, I fear the little nasty Carolyn on my shoulder will come out.
Peace.
Monday, March 7, 2011
About Choices...
I've been thinking a lot about choices lately. When you sit down and think about it, virtually everything we do comes from a choice. A choice we make, whether consciously or not, can determine the direction of our life. Pull out in front of a car quickly instead of waiting, can spur one off in a direction never thought possible and sometimes simply be the end of our path all together. That late afternoon coffee can keep us up all night. Everything is a choice and each of those choices have an impact on our lives, no matter how small.
Life gets more complicated as we grow older, add families and begin to lose the people we love. These complications add even more choices to an already complicated process. We begin to make choices for other people or because of other people and we learn about their choices and what they mean.
Watching my daughters find their places in life, making choices that may or may not be the best isn't always easy but I've come to realize for the most part, their choices are theirs and they won't learn from them if they don't make them. Of course there are situations where, as a parent, we must step in and stop a choice or correct one but for the most part, they're not going to learn if they don't deal with the consequences of their choices.
I watched my parents make choices that damaged their health and ultimately ended their lives. They knew what they were doing and chose to continue down that path.
I have no true control over what choices anyone makes. The only choices I can control, for the most part, are my own. Sometimes I have to make choices I don't like, for the sake of others or because it's simply the right thing to do. I could choose not to make those choices but it's all part of the process and sometimes it just simply is what it is.
I've spent a lot of time evaluating the choices I've made lately. Some were ones I didn't consciously make and some were made because of circumstances I couldn't control. What I had to realize about those choices is that while I did make them, consciously or not, I allowed them to continue, which in and of itself, is a choice.
I had to make a conscious choice if I wanted to continue along the path these choices directed me or if I wanted to find a new path by making a new choice. I've decided to make new choices. Some have been easier than others but they're mine. I own them, I made them and I'm going with the flow of them.
I'm not entirely sure what direction they're going to take me. Each choice has a ripple effect and requires even more choices but that's part of the fun of making conscious choices. I may do fine and I may stumble but if I do, I'll do it knowing I made a choice and have some form of control over what happens next.
I hope, as I continue down the path I'm choosing, I can positively impact those around me to make better, more informed choices, too.
Life gets more complicated as we grow older, add families and begin to lose the people we love. These complications add even more choices to an already complicated process. We begin to make choices for other people or because of other people and we learn about their choices and what they mean.
Watching my daughters find their places in life, making choices that may or may not be the best isn't always easy but I've come to realize for the most part, their choices are theirs and they won't learn from them if they don't make them. Of course there are situations where, as a parent, we must step in and stop a choice or correct one but for the most part, they're not going to learn if they don't deal with the consequences of their choices.
I watched my parents make choices that damaged their health and ultimately ended their lives. They knew what they were doing and chose to continue down that path.
I have no true control over what choices anyone makes. The only choices I can control, for the most part, are my own. Sometimes I have to make choices I don't like, for the sake of others or because it's simply the right thing to do. I could choose not to make those choices but it's all part of the process and sometimes it just simply is what it is.
I've spent a lot of time evaluating the choices I've made lately. Some were ones I didn't consciously make and some were made because of circumstances I couldn't control. What I had to realize about those choices is that while I did make them, consciously or not, I allowed them to continue, which in and of itself, is a choice.
I had to make a conscious choice if I wanted to continue along the path these choices directed me or if I wanted to find a new path by making a new choice. I've decided to make new choices. Some have been easier than others but they're mine. I own them, I made them and I'm going with the flow of them.
I'm not entirely sure what direction they're going to take me. Each choice has a ripple effect and requires even more choices but that's part of the fun of making conscious choices. I may do fine and I may stumble but if I do, I'll do it knowing I made a choice and have some form of control over what happens next.
I hope, as I continue down the path I'm choosing, I can positively impact those around me to make better, more informed choices, too.
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