Hello. My name is Carolyn. I've owned this blog for quite some time yet seldom do I do anything with it. Uninspired? Maybe. Bored and have nothing to write about? Also a maybe. Lazy? I'm thinking, probably, yes, lazy. That's okay. This too shall pass, right?
This year has brought a few changes to life as I know it. CBS canceled Medium, which sadly, means no more Joe DuBois (Jake Weber) to drool over. He really is the perfect husband, you know. How many men would tolerate their wives waking them up nightly because of wild, crazy dreams about murders and things that simply make no sense? Plus, she talks to his dad, who has been dead forever. Really, the guy is amazing. You'll be missed, Joe DuBois. Some people might find that a bit odd, one of the changes in my life being the cancellation of a TV show but well, it is what it is.
There are other changes, too. Self-inflicted changes that require more work for me. The lazy girl. What was I thinking? My biggest change is going back to working out. Which, by the way, is much harder at 44 than one would think. The bones and the muscles seem to fight each other and seriously, when did my stairs get so darn steep? I did legs yesterday today and I almost fell over doing my version of running down the stairs. I'm thinking it was the wind behind me, pushing me down. You know, the wind from the speed of my newly fit run down the stairs. Yes, that's what I'm goin' with here. It makes me feel better.
I'm thinking of getting back to my writing. I've had a few things sitting on the sidelines, waiting for me to add to them and I haven't. I felt uninspired and sad for so long it just wasn't worth the effort. Those things are still there and will get attended to (maybe even finished) but I've had this idea in my head for quite some time and its stirring around and around and is finally starting to boil. It may be put to paper if I can figure out the format. Then the question is, what do I do with it, if anything?
I guess the changes are more about what I want to do and not what I am doing. I'm hoping my motivation and determination will have a greater impact on me than the cloud I've had hanging over me, actually, completely engulfing me for the last two years. My parents wouldn't want me to feel that way anymore and honestly, I'm tired of feeling that way, too. It sort of just stopped. I still miss them, terribly. I still think about them more often than not and I still talk to them - but my life is continuing. They wouldn't want it to stop just because they're not here. I have to keep reminding myself of that but apparently it's working.
So I move forward. I tackle the stairs, even though I worry I'll fall down them (from that huge wind behind me due to my incredible speed). I pull out the Word document I've had sitting on my computer forever and see where it gets me. I'm hoping the change (no, not THAT change, geezus! I'm only 44) happens quickly. Because I'm ready.
